Every so often, you have one of those days or weeks that wipes you out emotionally and mentally. Today was one of those days. Actually, these last two weeks were tough.
It all started when I received a frantic phone call from an abused women I had been helping. Without revealing details, the case involved international, immigration and criminal laws. It is fraught with danger for all involved. With some trepidation, the woman agreed to attempt a second escape from her abuser. The first had failed miserably.
With the help of other “gladiators,” we secured her a space at a shelter and arranged for her travel to this safe haven. She arrived exhausted, her children confused and half-asleep, only to discover her beds had been given to another family and she had nowhere to stay.
At the same time that I was monitoring this potentially explosive situation, I received another phone call about a woman who had literally run out of home with her children to escape her husband. She had called me from a community member’s office and was seeking a shelter for the same night. Again, I started calling. I pulled whatever strings I had and arranged for beds for her and her kids for tonight. At 9 p.m. tonight, I received calls from both women that the shelters could no longer take them in because their beds had been given away.
Just imagine the frustration! These women did the bravest thing they could to protect themselves and their children. They fled their homes with little or no belongings, relying on the kindness of strangers and the system, and still ended up without sanctuary. When I hear people talking about homelessness or domestic violence, this is the key part most critics miss.
Years ago, I was driving with a friend through the streets of Chicago. We passed one homeless person after another. And she said, “I just don’t understand why they don’t go to a shelter.” When I said the shelters may not have beds for them, she scoffed. “Of course, they have beds. They are huge places. They just don’t want to go.”
Think about that, which person would voluntarily choose to sleep in the cold, rainy, snowy streets of Chicago if a warm bed was available for him or her? If we hadn’t scrambled to pay for hotel rooms for the women I mentioned, they could have been one of the homeless people my friend spoke of. How would you even know the struggles they have faced? Be quick not to judge. Be quick to sympathize and lend a hand. Most of all, for God’s sake, be kind.
The women who came together to help the victims I refer to, were all strangers. They drove these women and children to shelters, emptied their wallets and gave them cash and risked their own lives in the process. Would you be able to do the same?
There’s a lot of work left to be done in the field of domestic violence. My hope is to create more shelters. I want more beds, more resources, more gladiators working on the ground helping these victims. Truth be told, I want awareness and education and non-violence. I want our communities to stop blaming the victim and start focusing on the abusers. Don’t ask, “Why didn’t she leave?” Instead ask, “why did he hit”? Don’t ask, “Why is she sleeping on the street?” Instead, ask, “How can I help her get back on her feet?”
Tomorrow, in between the soccer games and kids’ activities, I have to call every area shelter and see if I can get beds for all these people. Tomorrow, I will have to stem the women’s fears, listen to the kids’ cries and maintain some control in this chaotic, messy situation. There is much work to be done.
And we need as much help as we can get.
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