When things in our lives seem to be falling apart, it’s not easy to hold everything together.
We begin to question everything. But at the end of the day, maybe the old saying is true: things fall apart so that better things can fall together. Here are eight reasons to believe it.
Realize, sometimes things fall apart so that:
1. You can take stock of the awesome things that you DO have.
Your roommates, your family, your ability to rub your belly and pat your head at the same time. Make a list of the things that have gone right for you instead of dwelling on the things that have momentarily gone wrong. Blips are hard to ignore especially right after the fact, but taking the time to enjoy the small things – like a cup of coffee or a bike ride to the park – can remind you that the good always outweighs the bad.
2. You can push yourself to work even harder.
Awesome things don’t actually come to those who wait patiently with their arms crossed for them. If the first attempt at success does work out, you need to regroup and try again. If you’re really serious about what you want, one, two, three failed attempted won’t convince you that you can’t make it. Push yourself, set deadlines, run faster, work harder.
3. You can be even more prepared for happiness.
Maybe right now is not the right time for you to get that promotion or hit it off with that person you have been casually seeing. So what? When you do hit it big in your career, you’ll have so much more practice than you did before to carry our your newfound responsibilities. Similarly, when you find that special someone, all that serial dating experience will help you find your best match.
4. You can know what rock bottom is.
This is the feeling that makes you want to stay in bed, ignore phone calls from friends, and eat junk food while watching reality TV. Allow yourself one more episode of Survivor but then force yourself to get up. It can’t get much worse, right? So why wallow in that state of perpetual self-flagellation? Taking chances is the only way out from here on out. You’re already low; the worst that can happen is that things won’t work out. You’ll never know until you try again.
5. You can know something better is coming along.
We’ve all been told a variation of the phrase, “When God closes a door, he opens a window.” Whether you’re religious or not, this idea rings true. There is no such thing as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. As long as you’re alive, every day is another opportunity. Just by waking up and interacting with people, you put yourself in the forefront of good things. Keep putting yourself out there and – who knows – one day you might wake up to that magical window you’ve been searching for the whole time.
6. You can learn from it.
Nothing is more humbling an experience than failure. But calling it that can lead you down two paths. One is toxic. Labeling an experience a failure could in turn cause you to believe that you yourself are a failure. This would prevent you from trying again, cause you to beat yourself up, lose confidence in all the abilities you thought you had. The other path is a recharge. Even if it’s not funny, file this “failure” away in the will-be-funny-one-day folder. Reassess what happened, learn from your mistakes, and build yourself up. You lost a job? What can you do differently next time? You relationship took a wrong turn? What is takeaway from having spent time with that person? You ripped your pants popping, locking, and dropping? Well, this is a great opportunity to learn how to sew, huh?
7. You can realize how amazingly strong you are.
Life is never easy, but it’s when things fall apart that we almost step outside of ourselves to become something better. All of a sudden, we are smarter, we are stronger, and we are able to take charge of the situation greater than we could have ever imagined.
8. You can really appreciate life when everything does work itself out.
Take it from a pro. Ira Glass, host of the ever popular radio show, This American Life, knows that in the end, the struggle you went through will all be worth it. He insists, “Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone had told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit.
THE POINT IS…
Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know it’s normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work.
Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And, I have to admit it took longer for me to figure out how to do this…longer than anyone who I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. But, it’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through!
Be the person who persists.
You’re going to make it and you’ll be thankful for your humble beginnings.
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