“Don’t take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”~Don Miguel Ruiz
A student went to his master teacher and asked to know the key to true inner peace and freedom from emotional suffering. The master said to him, “Go to the cemetery and curse the person that lay in each grave. Tell them that they are stupid and their mother is ugly too. After you have done that then go back again the next day and bless and praise each person in every grave, telling them how wonderful they are; tell them that the world worships them to this day–even go so far as to light incense and candles for each one, calling them saints. When you have done this, come back to me.” The student dutifully did as instructed. Upon returning, the master asked the student, “Well, what did they have to say about your opinions?” Astounded, the student replied, “How could they respond to me at all? They were all dead and could not hear a word I said.” The master said, “When you, too, do not hear what others have to say about you, negative or nice, you will know true inner peace and freedom from suffering.” ~Excerpt from The Art of Being
THE TAKEAWAY: Most people tend to seek adoration and approval from others and equally spurn their judgment and criticism. The problem is the egoic self thrives in both camps because it loves to gloat when the compliments come as much as it does to defend itself when the criticism comes. In other words, the egoic self is equally addicted to both adoration and criticism; the problem is when we are attached to either one our inner peace flies right out the window. It’s a lose-lose proposition: When we receive criticism we suffer and when we don’t receive adoration we suffer. I think Don Miguel Ruiz is onto something:
Not taking anything personally is sage advice–especially when we are willing to embrace it daily. Easy to say, hard to do? Metaphorically speaking, it depends on whether your ego is in the driver’s seat or the back seat (where it belongs) on your drive through daily life, which is why mindfulness (laced with humility) is the word of the day. The quintessential question worth some deep self-inquiry today might be, “How attached am I to other people’s opinion–and is it causing me to suffer?” With emotional awareness, an open mind, and a willing heart, you’ll discover that the answer is contained within the question the moment it is asked.
Are you ready to not take anything personally? This is practicing the art of selective listening: Ask the question, listen, and see where it lands; in the front seat or the back seat. As the master said to his student, “When you, too, do not hear what others have to say about you, negative or nice, you will know true inner peace and freedom from suffering.”
Peace,
Dennis
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