One food-heavy holiday has come and gone and as we prepare for the next and the many parties in between that will serve up many delicious cookies and cocktails our wills can be tested. Especially if, like me, you struggle with the image that stares back at you in the mirror.
I’ve been in a hate-hate relationship with my body since I can remember, even before I went on my first diet at the incredibly mature age of 10 years old. Over the years I’ve lost weight, gained weight, lost it again, and gained it again. I’ve been on a plethora of diets. I’ve counted and logged calories. I’ve exercised daily. And over all these years and those pounds I always despised my body and it affected every minute of every hour of my every day.
Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. So, I found a therapist who helped people like me whose mental health and body image are so exclusively entwined.
It was the best decision of my life.
I can’t say that I’m completely cured of my body obsession but what I can say is that I am happier and healthier than I ever have been in my life. I’ve learned so much not only about myself but the world around me and its perceptions of body image in these last two years; I feel compelled to share this because I want to help as many people I can, as many girls like me who continue to suffer in the throngs of mental torture every day as I once had.
And it so happens my newfound knowledge is ever relevant this time of year—it helped me survive Thanksgiving.
I’ve always had a complicated relationship with food. I am fortunate enough not to have such a bad relationship that it has led me to anorexia or bulimia or anything in between. But, from day one I adopted the notion that food was the #1 enemy. There were certain foods to avoid at all costs lest I wished to gain ten pounds with one bite. There was a certain amount of food I could eat and remain in the safe zone—only half my meal; any more and the barrage of “I’m so disgusting” thoughts would invade my mind the second I put down my fork.
Now, all those self-inflicted insults and guilt are gone because I’ve learned two things: 1) there is no such thing as “bad” food and 2) listen to your body.
1) There is no such thing as “bad” food.
At this point, all that we as humans can agree on to be the only 100% healthy option to consume is water. So, dispel that notion that certain foods align themselves in the “good” and “bad” column. Food is just food.
Even pizza, burgers, and ice cream aren’t unhealthy at their core—only in excess. A cheeseburger isn’t going to push you into unhealthful oblivion. A cheeseburger and fries every day might, but one every now and then isn’t anything other than simply an enjoyable meal.
So during the holidays if you want that whole slice of pie then have at it! It’s only one meal, after all. And one meal makes virtually no difference to your body’s status quo. Balance is key, but this doesn’t mean you can’t live a healthy life AND eat that stuffing.
2) Listen to your body.
This is without a doubt the most important mantra to maintain. I think we’ve all been here: you’re craving French fries but instead decide to order a side salad to pair with your sandwich, but still in the back of your mind all you can think about are those delicious, crispy potatoes.
So, you finish your meal unsatisfied, and instead you succumb to another “unhealthy” choice or end up eating everything in your cabinet or refrigerator to satisfy that craving. Ultimately, would it have been so bad to eat those fries? Truth is you most likely have only eaten a few and decided that’s all you wanted. Your body is telling you what it wants, so listen to it. Life is short, it’s better to leave a meal satisfied, having eaten what you want, then force feeding something you don’t.
As well, in addition to telling you what it wants it also tells you how much it wants. When your plate is filled to the brim with Thanksgiving goodies that doesn’t mean you must eat all of it. Or maybe it does. If you take a moment to listen to what your body is telling you maybe you’ll find that you’re actually stuffed a quarter of the way through your plate or maybe you’ll find that you’re actually still starving after polishing off the whole thing.
And that’s okay too; your body needs more food so go get some more mashed potatoes, and maybe another helping of green beans too. You’re not being excessive or “fat,” you’re just listening to yourself. If you do this, you’ll find that you’ll only eat a couple bites of those “guilty” foods that you’re craving and that allowing yourself to eat those foods when you want them pays off when you aren’t kicking yourself for scarfing down the entire thing.
The most important thing is to question the notions, about food and about your body, that have been thrust upon you by outside sources. You’ll come to find that even asking the question “why do I think that?” will automatically begin dispelling negativity.
I hope these tools help you go forth and enjoy the holidays (and the Thanksgiving leftovers). At the end of the day this time of year is about family and friends and absolutely none of your worth to them is dictated by your body or how much pumpkin pie you put into it.
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