“SNAP OUT OF IT!”
Sometimes as much as someone may think that saying that to someone who is suffering from suicidal thoughts or depression will help them to just “snap out of it”… that doesn’t always work. They just can’t…
The numbers around suicide for youth and young adults are frightening. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for those between the ages of 15 to 24 years of age.
But, it is often something that our society fails to fully address.
Suicide affects us all, but there are many communities that suffer from higher rates, because they are ostracized in our society. LGBT youth may comprise of up to 30 percent of youth suicide deaths and it is the leading cause of death for LGBT youth. There are many issues that are worth discussing as to the causes of LGBT suicide. However, today, I would like to write about depression and suicide in a different perspective as someone who identifies within the LGBT community and suffers from a mental health disorder.
In my first RIZZARR article called Outings & Overcomings Admid Struggles, I came out about the challenges that any person, including myself, can face after being diagnosed with Bipolar 1. The disorder is classified as a manic/depressive mental health disorder in which the individual can rapidly oscillate between mania and depression. In today’s time, medication can help prevent these cycles from occurring, but different factors such a stress and new environments can also exacerbate these conditions.
Manic episodes are an “exciting” mood because they cause high energy levels. Many manic individuals may feel as if they are unstoppable, or able to tackle the world because this state elevates their mindset. Other symptoms of mania include irritability, going on spending sprees, participating in risky sexual behavior, racing thoughts, and impulsive behaviors. A manic person may experience some or all of these symptoms in their lifetime. For me, I considered myself “lucky” that I had only experienced the “happier” side of Bipolar 1 ever since my diagnosis after my freshman year in college. But that completely changed during my second semester of my senior year.
Coming from someone who is “supposed” to suffer from severe depressive episodes, I considered myself fortunate that I had never experienced a deep depressive mood. I witnessed some of my friends in college struggle with clinical depression and drop out of school, but I never understood this and in fact, at times questioned the validity of their struggle.
I fell victim to the thoughts that many people feel when they first hear that someone is struggling with depression and having suicidal thoughts: “Snap out of it!” This was my ignorance, and now I know what it feels like to have these unwanted thoughts.
The second semester of my senior year at Georgetown was such an exciting moment for me. I enjoyed the companionship of all of my friends, and I uniquely loved the job searching process. There was a point in time that everything was going well. It was near senior week, I had already gotten my “dream job,” but then everything took a turn for the worst.
Intellectually, I knew that my life was going the way it needed to be, but emotionally, I fell into a depression I had never experienced before. It was a chemical depression that I faced for a week, and I did not understand why this was happening even though I knew my life was going well. This depression forced me to have unwanted suicidal thoughts, and I called my mom crying, wondering how and when this was going to stop.
My mother told me to call the doctor the next day and to stay with a friend for a week; I am truly lucky to have friends who took care of me during this time in my life. My doctor changed my medication, and in about a couple of days, these thoughts subsided. I consider myself fortunate in this regard because I have not experienced another depressive episode. Since then, I have been able to not cast judgment and empathize with people who suffer from clinical depression. Yet, it took an extreme imbalance for me to recognize for myself, that some people constantly have these unwanted depressive and suicidal thoughts.
From sharing this, I hope that I am able to draw even more attention to an issue that desperately needs to be talked about within our communities. I especially feel it’s an issue that many teens and young adults face, but for some reason, our society often ignores the signs and we fail to fully address as well as discuss these issues. There are many factors and circumstances that often contribute to the start of depression and even suicidal thoughts. Yet there is a lot of negative connotation that often spirals from anyone who says they are depressed or suicidal. They are often afraid to seek help or to share their story…
I hope anyone who is suffering will seek help immediately and know that they are not alone in what they are going through. Yes, suffering from depression is a battle and it is hard, but it is not something that anyone should play around with. Take it seriously. Your life is so much more than you think, but you have to gain the strength to realize this and to share your feelings with loved ones so that you can get the help you need.
Depression and suicide do not have to overtake you… Just know that your life is worth so much more than you will ever know. If you would like to seek help, please call 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK.
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