Street harassment is probably something that every woman has dealt with at some point in their lives. My most recent encounter occurred on my college campus.
Outside of the building where I work on campus, I stood adjusting my hat, scarf and gloves. Looking up and down the street I noticed a gentleman passing. He politely spoke and I responded in kind. I have never had a problem speaking to anybody on the street when they politely speak to me.
I hadn’t stepped off of the stairs as he passed, but I noticed he was looking at me. I was immediately disturbed. I knew this would eventually become a problem. I considered briefly re-entering the building, but I had to walk to class.
Eventually, I stepped off the stairs and noticed this man had walked in the same direction I was heading. I took my normal short cut and it seemed as if he was following me.
Now, I was a bit scared. I considered calling a male co-worker to meet me at the entrance of the building to walk me to class. When he spoke to me again. I had one ear bud in my ear, so I couldn’t hear him clearly as he spoke to me. Thinking he might be lost, which is something that can occur in Midtown Detroit, I took my ear bud out.
“You so sexy,” he said.
I didn’t want to respond, but I was now scared.
“Thank you,” I said nicely before continuing on my way.
“Can I get your number?” he asked.
“I don’t have a phone,” I responded. It was the only thing I could think to say at the time. As a result, I cut across the street and continued on my way to class. The whole time I walked, I looked over my shoulder, keeping one ear bud out so I could hear around me.
It wouldn’t have been the first time I was followed.
This incident happened to occur on the same day that I read a Huffington Post story about 38-year-old Mark Dorch who was charged with first-degree murder and assault with attempt to murder. Dorch was accused of murdering Mary “Unique” Spears after she spurned his advances.The police didn’t speak to the Huffington Post about Dorch’s motives. According to social media and an interview on WJBK-TV, Spears lost her life because she refused him.
The Huffington Post complied a gallery of screenshots in which women and men used social media to show their outrage with street harassment. Hashtags featuring #yesallwomen, #thatswhathesaid, #whyineedfeminisim, #YouOKSis appeared on Twitter.
I think that these issues around street harassment happen more times than people may know. I work with teenagers, including my nieces and nephews, and I wonder how have we as a society have gotten to this point where this incidents continuously happen. More importantly, I wonder what should I teach them about street harassment.
Nobody ever sat me down and told me how to respond when I am harassed on the street. It’s only my own ingenuity and God’s grace that have prevented me from being physically assaulted.
I’m sure I wasn’t absent from school that day (if it was taught) and I’m sure that most other women have no idea how to respond either.
I’ve concluded that I will teach the boys I work with that women should be respected. It’s never “cool” to harass them. It’s cool to “talk” to them respectfully and to express your interests, but it’s not cool to make comments that make them feel uncomfortable and scared. I would also tell them that not only is it cool to lend your support to the women who you see being harassed, but it’s also cool to tell your “boys” that it isn’t cool to harass women.
I’ve concluded I will teach the girls who I work with that they should be respected. It’s never cool to be harassed, but it may continue to happen until more laws are made to stop it and until more people get involved to help stop it. It’s cool to not know how to respond to street harassment even if you feel uncomfortable and scared. It’s cool to accept help from others when you are getting harassed. It’s cool to tell others it isn’t okay to harass women.
I know this isn’t going to be the last time that I’m harassed on the street. I know this isn’t going to be the last time I’m going to feel uncomfortable walking alone, in broad daylight. And most of all, I know this isn’t something that is going to change over night.
But I know if each of us makes an effort to stop it, we can change it. I hope one day, I can walk down the street in broad daylight and say “hi” to a man without wondering if he will harass me.
[Current Song: U.N.I.T.Y. by Queen Latifah]
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