I never thought I’d be here. So, where do I start?
Sitting in front of my giant screen, l look out of my window at the sleepy apartment complex where I’ve spent the last four months. I realize that I’m lucky.
Lucky… that I am in graduate school and still, I have the time for self-reflection. And self-reflection is what I’ve been doing all break while most of campus has gone home to visit their loved ones for holiday and New Year celebrations. I’m one of the few left, by choice. Just as I’m one of the few women on this campus who is studying a non-science and non-engineering field, despite those two disciplines being the bread and butter of this institution, I’m also one of the few who decided not to go home for the holidays.
It’s a strange experience…
Li”I’m just pointing out that I’m grateful humans have the conscious capacity to think about issues in a deeper way…” (Photo: iStockphoto/ Thinkstock)
It’s both disarming and empowering at the same time. I enjoy knowing that I can be alone and not need to rely on others for company or help. I’ve found small, yet fulfilling ways to pass the time such as reading and cooking plenty. I finally got a haircut and started painting my nails again. I also took on a few projects such as taking my car to the mechanic, learning to ride a motorcycle and successfully getting my license.
But, (and you know there’s a but coming) the silence constantly reminds me that people are some of the best company I can have. And that’s plural, meaning me, plus one. So being alone for almost three weeks straight without any real attachment to other people isn’t necessarily a healthy objective either.
That’s why I’ve been lucky to be living on campus, because the few souls I’ve passed have really made me appreciate humanity much more. Because most students have left, I finally took the time to talk to people who I ordinarily pass by on a regular basis but never took the time to acknowledge.
The post office clerk, the painters, the retail assistant at the motorcycle store, the receptionist at the gym, the checkout person at the grocery store, and lost friends whom I’ve neglected due to my (reasonable) excuses during the school year. These are the folks that make our society run. Before you think I’m giving myself a pat on the back though, I also recognize that I’ve been ignoring my parents the most. It’s ironic that I have the time and space for these strangers I barely know and pay very little attention to people whom I really love and care about.
I’m not one to make new year resolutions. I’m of the philosophy that if there’s something I desperately want to do, I should do it immediately rather than wait for a new year to bring the motivation that I wouldn’t keep anyway. But here is one instance where I know I need to buck up and take more initiative to reach out to people who care about me.
Where am I going with this?
Nowhere in particular. I’m just pointing out that I’m grateful humans have the conscious capacity to think about issues in a deeper way so I can become a better person in 2013 than I was last year. Overall, I’d say this mini-vacation where I barely left my own room, let alone the city, was a success. I challenge you to take moments to breathe in your own life and listen to what the silence tells you.
Maybe if you do, it will change your entire perspective on your life.
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