Growing up I can safely say I had a cushy, straightforward, happy life. Some may even say I was spoiled – spiritually that is. If I wanted something, I worked hard, prayed for it and got it…it was just that simple. My understanding was that faith was simply the strong, unwavering belief that God would give me whatever I asked for.
Then, life got a little more complicated. God started saying ‘No’ to some things. That was a slightly bitter pill to swallow. I mean how could He say, ‘No’, when I was asking for something good – like getting into NYU for my undergrad. I had the grades, community service, more than enough teachers ready and willing to give me recommendations AND I was a minority! I was even featured in Who’s Who Among American High School Students, TWICE! In my world, I thought an outright no was the worst…until things got more interesting and God started saying ‘Wait’.
If you are like me, the question I always ask is, ‘Wait for what?’ If it’s going to be a yes eventually why not then grant the yes right now? Surely, as God of the Universe who simply spoke this beautiful vast earth into existence, this is a small thing for you. Just speak the job, acceptance letter, spouse, child, money, health into existence. If it’s a no, then let me know so I can be sad for a bit and then just move on with life.
The Bible gives us examples of many people who were told to simply wait and not act in the moment: Abraham, Moses, Joseph (my favorite), Joshua, Hannah and the list goes on and on. Imagine being Joseph and knowing from a young age you were destined for greatness. Only before being appointed as Vice President of Egypt, you would be sold into slavery by your own brothers, and spend a good number of years in prison for being unfairly accused of rape (there was clearly no due process of the law in his time!).
I have come to realize that what makes waiting hard for me is that it takes away all control and forces me to defer any supposed wisdom or power to make things happen for myself…
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