If there is ANY message I could send to young men today, it would be this quote from the book Jazz, a 1992 historical novel by Pulitzer and Nobel Prize-winning American author by author Toni Morrison:
“I taught you to never kill the tender and nothin’ female. If you can help it. I didn’t think I had to teach you about people. learn this: she ain’t prey. You gotta know the difference.”
This quote from Jazz is said by one mother in the book who is explaining to her sons that they need to stop thinking of women as prey…
There seems to be a new type of “hunt” that is going on among young people today. Before, men looked for wives to make families. Wives and families gave men a sense of purpose–someone to work for, someone to love. Now, I am YOUNG, I am not trying to be anyone’s wife anytime soon. But as a woman, I often don’t feel love coming from the men in my peer groups, I feel… hunted. Hunted to be devoured, consumed, and captured.
I think this is a result of the male search for their “holy grail.”
I have heard many of my guy friends talk about how once the chase is over, they are over it. So they keep being with different women with the hopes that one day, they will actually find a girl that they want to keep around. Well, I’m sorry to “burst your bubble,” mister, but there is no holy grail. Here is the problem– no human can give you the validation you are looking for. No act of instant gratification will ever fully satisfy you. You will remain unsatisfied if you continually seek temporary fulfillment from woman…
“Kelly: “There is no satisfaction to be found from continually taking from a woman you are designed to GIVE to.” (RIZZARR File Photo)
When I was at church, the pastor preached about how feeding into your flesh more than your spirit will inevitably destroy you, and I believe it. I truly believe, as C.S. Lewis puts it, that “you don’t have a soul. you are a soul. you have a body.” So constantly satisfying your body will leave you empty, because you have neglected your soul. I know those nameless notches on your bed stand may make you feel like a king, but that feeling is not long lived. There is no satisfaction to be found from continually taking from a woman you are designed to GIVE to.
Therefore, my message is this, feed your soul. I don’t care how you do it–prayer, church, meditation, community service, artistry – it does not matter! But I promise you, that feeling in your gut that you think is some type of unfulfilled primal urge isn’t always what you think it is… In fact, it’s actually an innate loneliness. We were made to heal and find fulfillment from God. We are not supposed to be creatures that constantly roam the earth for satisfaction.
Ok, I assume as a young guy, it’s hard to do this considering the pressures put on you by your friends… But trust me… If you are all participating in the same empty behavior, that’s all you are gonna have at the end of the day– emptiness.
Be full, brother.
Until we meet again,
Keyaira Kelly
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