Robin Williams, known for his comedic movie roles and iconic stand-up routines, recently lost his battle with depression and addiction.
Details surrounding Williams’s death are still being released. However, it’s circulating that Williams had just been released from an inpatient 12-step program and was alone when the incident occurred.
Since then, I’ve been watching the Internet as people who suffer from mental health issues speak up on the topic. I’ve seen comments that made me think, “Yes, somebody finally put that feeling into words” and others that made me say “No! It isn’t like that.”
Although more than 350 million people worldwide suffer with depression, it can still be hard for them to articulate its effects and it can be hard for others outside of it to understand it. In lieu of the controversy about Williams’s death, I would like to continue the conversation about mental health stigma and have come up with 10 lessons that we can apply to our lives when a loved one is depressed. I hope they greatly help others as well as encourage those suffering from depression to seek help.
1. People who suffer from depression can’t just “get over it” or “snap out of it.”
Whatever “it” is, if they could do better, be better, they would. Nobody would choose depression if they had another choice. Usually, they struggle desperately to feel “normal” and to be “better.”
2. Medication is NOT always the answer.
Some mental health issues don’t require psychiatric drugs, some do. But if you are not a psychologist and you are not able to write a prescription, please don’t say anything along the lines of “pop a pill and you’ll feel better.” Keep in mind that even if medication is the route chosen for your loved one, it can take time before the correct medication and dosage is found.
3. Tomorrow is a new day, but sometimes a new day feels like old day.
When you’re depressed, it seems like you are living the same day over and over again. Don’t tell them that everything will be better in the morning because it might not.
4. Everybody hurts differently.
Sometimes people experience depression after a major life event. Sometimes people experience depression for no reason at all. Whatever the case, each person hurts differently; what doesn’t seem like a big deal to you could be a big deal to them.
5. Saying, “Just come out with me,” or ”You need to get out of the house,” doesn’t always solve the problem.
It can be draining to put on a “brave” face and act “normal” around other people when you are depressed. Occasionally, your depressed loved one can benefit from time outside of their home, but don’t push them into going out.
6. Daily chores can become too much to deal with.
Simple tasks such as getting out of bed, washing, or eating can be too much to handle. Other tasks such as going to work or school, cooking or maintaining a household can be out of reach. If you are in the position to do so, help them around the house, make them meals that they want to eat, encourage them to get out of bed, make sure they have their favorite soap or towel, help them prepare for work or school.
7. Be there.
Everybody needs something different when they are depressed. Make yourself available to fill in the position they need you to be in. Realize that they might not know what will help them. If you ask, “What can I do to help?” and they don’t have an answer, don’t be offended. However, don’t try to give them solutions. They’ve probably tried many and realized they don’t always work.
8. Don’t be offended.
Sometimes it may seem like your depressed friend is avoiding you or ignoring you; I promise you, they are not. However, when you are trapped inside of your own mind, communicating with those who mean the most to you is difficult.
9. Even when they are depressed, they might hide it well or have “good” days.
Sometimes, somebody with depression might hide the fact they are depressed well. They might have a day where they feel better. That doesn’t mean that are no longer depressed or have been cured. For some, mental health can be a life-long battle. For more on this topic check out my article here
10. Depression doesn’t discriminate.
If Robin Williams’s death can teach us anything, then it’s that depression and other mental health issues don’t discriminate. Williams was well-known for being funny and some sources said his net worth was about $50 million dollars. Regardless, he battled with depression and addiction. No matter your race, gender, sex, sexuality, income, educational level, age, etc. you still can have a mental health issue to deal with.
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