I’m the oldest in my family and used to be the eldest in my classes.
A lot of the older kids at my school enjoyed teasing and bullying me, so I didn’t exactly find an easy way to learn how to enter and survive my 20s – or what they’ve been so far anyway.
A few cousins of mine and college pals have given advice here and there. But I’ve realized, no one can truly prepare you for your 20s. As a teen or a budding 20-year-old, you’re going to be naive, stubborn, and a know-it-all at times (even though you won’t admit you don’t know jack). So here’s some advice that can hopefully help some of you out there who are in need of it.
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The Truth About Getting Your Dream Job
When I was a senior in college, I felt like the top of the freaking food chain. All the underclassmen were in awe of my accomplishments and those of my classmates. But when I graduated and began my job search, I got completely smacked down by the world. Yes, you are funny and smart. Yes, you may have gone to a fancy college, but you’ll soon learn (probably through Facebook and Twitter and Tumblr) that there’s thousands like you trying to figure out what the heck they’re going to do. Some self-loathing, jealousy, and even confusion may set in. This may very well affect your job search and how you handle outings with friends. But don’t get discouraged.
Just remember that you’re NOT WORTHLESS, you will not become homeless. You can accomplish things if you work for it and I mean WORK FOR IT. Do not apply to a job or two one day a week, then go back to watching stuff on Hulu. Get out there and assert yourself. It’s a freaking jungle – you want to be Zazu or Mufasa?!
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The Truth About Social Media
Check yourself, before you wreck yourself. I’m a social media fanatic – I make accounts on the newest app or site all the time and then, can’t wait to post things. Yet, I remember now that I’m a professional. Therefore, not every single party pic or day at the beach needs to be documented all over the Internet.
Back in the day, our parents couldn’t really explain or teach this to us because they didn’t really understand how things could live on the Internet for years. Now, live and learn very quickly because that Internet is instant. That red-cup photos, that one night at the bar with bearded whats-his-face, or your thoughts on why Bush or Obama or whoever is a jerk — yea those don’t always work so well in your favor. I know many of you could say, “I have a right to voice myself! Freedom of speech! Screw the police!” or whatever. And hey, I love having a voice and fancying my latest pic on Instagram. However, there is a fine line in what we all should post. It’s a bit of a blurry one, but it is there. Have some respect and dignity for yourself.
Remember that you can have fun, but you do not need to flash it all over the place. I mean, is it that necessary? When you went out and had a great time or had discussions with friends IN PERSON and that was satisfactory enough?
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The Truth About Taking Care Of Yourself
College and then you’re first job post-grad will test your limits. And yes, it’ll feel ridiculously amazing to be out partying and hanging with friends till the dawn comes and then you go to class or work like it’s all normal.
You’ll sip coffee, you’ll def look like crap. You’ll wish that you’d gone home at 12:30 a.m. when you had the chance. But there could be a teeny part of you will be saying, “Hell yea I did that and I can do it again.” And when it comes to you personally, make sure you’re lifestyle is sustainable and makes you feel good, not nervous or depressed.
Remember you don’t need to operate at extremes and become a major stereotype, like the bar-hopper or the hermit. Yes, get out and have fun with friends, but also take time out for yourself at home.
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The Truth About People, Especially Your Friends
Some friends are keepers. Others will be haters or downright poisonous for you and your happiness. I’ve obviously dealt with this through experience. As hard (and even traumatic) as it was, I learned a lot from every single situation that I encountered. I learned about people and definitely about myself. I’ve had roommates and college pals who’ve stuck by me through it all. Even if we hadn’t seen each other in months or even a year, we’d be able to pick up right where we left off. Then, there were other so-called friends who just fly away the minute I turned my back. Hey, no worries. They didn’t bother to keep up with me, then so be it.
What I’ve learned and what you’ll learn is that people will use you and continue to do it until you wise-up, say something. If you don’t wise-up, then they’ll take all they need and fly off. They’ll ask for you to be their person for their vent mode. But when you have a problem, they’re nowhere in sight. You’ll be there wing man, their couch to crash on, they’re 10 bucks to borrow — but when you need a lift from the airport or GOD FORBID you don’t feel like going out one night, then you’re the ridiculous, rude friend. You don’t need to deal with this. Ever.
Remember to respect yourself enough to realize when this is happening and get out fast. Don’t go full-time for part-time people. And most important, never let your priority be someone else’s option.
Those are some of my musings of my twenties. Cheers!