Body image is a universal struggle.
Too often though, the focus is placed solely on women’s feelings about their bodies’ inadequacies. It is just as difficult for men to find peace with their bodies, and it can be even more difficult for them to speak up about their body anxieties.
As a senior editor and reporter for The Huffington Post, Tyler Kingkade is bridging the gap between men’s and women’s body image frustrations. He’s using his personal story of body shame to help others realize the power of acknowledging and speaking out about their own fears. Tyler recently graced us with his wisdom, answering a few questions about his research and recent pieces on male body image. Be sure to check out his work!
Ellie Herman: In I’m A Man, and I’ve Spent My Life Ashamed of My Body, you write: “Sometimes I complain about my weight to my close friends, but they say they don’t see it. Some tell me they think I have an athletic build. Others say I’m skinny. I don’t believe it, and I grab my flab to prove it. I see my body bulging out of my shirt in the mirror. I don’t see an athlete. I don’t see skinny.” Men are typically taught that body image is not something they should openly talk about. Do you believe this and do you think talking to your friends is beneficial in finding body acceptance? How would you bring something like that up among friends?
Tyler Kingkade: Yes. Masculinity has historically promoted the ideal of a man not having weakness, not having shame and not having flaws. Yet, at the same time, we aren’t supposed to care. To care about flaws is considered a feminine trait. We can shift those ideals, but it takes time. Right now, I don’t think many guys would admit publicly they don’t feel great about their body. I had a lot of friends—male friends—tell me after the story published that it was something they’d love to say, but don’t feel like they can.
EH: You mention a fear of others thinking you’re fat. Do you think that is your biggest fear? Do you think body concerns are scarier than other thoughts because the body is a constant part of your life?
TK: Yes. One of the most important realizations I came to in researching this piece was acknowledging the “I’m judging myself more than others are judging me,” and identifying what my main fear is. One psychologist asked me, “What is the worst thing that a friend would do if they saw you were fat, and what’s the chance of that actually happening?” It made sense…
To continue reading the rest of this interview from our partner, Proud2BMe, just click here.
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