Saying no can be tough. We feel guilty or unhelpful or a myriad of other non-helpful emotions that have us saying yes to things we really want and ought to be saying no to.

Whichever answer you decide on, neither of those answers should be one-word responses.  One of the mindsets of a Connector is that Connectors are Conscientious.  That means they do what they say they are going to do.  It also means they are selective about what they will say yes to.

My husband had a sticky note on my computer with the word “no” on it. It stayed there over a year until it fell off. I left it there because it reminded me that No was a possible answer. In a way, it gave me permission to say no.

I still remind myself that saying no is saying yes to something else. I often focus on what I will say yes to instead to make it easier to say no. I had to learn how to say “no” and have it heard. Eventually, No became a word that was a little easier to use when I incorporated the strategies below:

No, but…

Instead of giving a straight, “No”, try using, “No, but…” in your responses. “No, but this person may be interested,” or, “No, but this resource may be able to help you.” Not only does it allow you to say yes to something else, but this helps the person making the ask to find another way to get the help they need. By saying no, but then following up with a person or resource who may be able to help them, you’re both sticking to your own boundaries, and creating connections between two other parties that need it.