A person who genuinely wants to see you grow and be happy – who is fiercely loyal, speaks the truth and stands by their word – is one of the rarest, most valuable things you can find on earth. The only way to find and connect with these types of people is to become one. It’s one of the greatest things we can experience in our time here.
Whether in friendship, business, romance, or any other facets of life – you are much better off alone than lowering your own personal standards to conform to a dysfunctional type of relationship that makes you into a lesser version of yourself than you are capable of becoming.
This is one of the hardest decisions to make in the short-term, but the long-term ramifications are significant. Whatever secondary payoff you get out of a phony relationship will eventually do enough damage to outweigh the good. It serves neither party. Even worse, it changes your patterns of thought and behavior, makes you more fearful and timid, and decreases the likelihood of attracting other great people into your life.
In order to do this, we need to make an important paradigm shift. We need to understand that being alone is not the same as being lonely. This is all a product of our mindset.
So be patient. Don’t put yourself in social situations that you don’t want to be in out of boredom and fear of branching out. Don’t rush into a marriage because you turned a certain age and want to impress some other people who have no idea what will make you happy in the long run. Don’t allow outside judgments to become more important than your own.
No friendship, business venture, or romantic relationship will ever be the solution to all of your problems. We all have fears and insecurities, and we need to face and deal with them head on. We can’t put a mask over them. If we try to use something else as a crutch, not only will we not solve the problem, but we will actually ruin the new thing as well, multiply our misery, and spread it to others.
Go on a date with yourself. It doesn’t even need to be anywhere special. It can even be in your own room. Don’t be rude to yourself, shut off your phone. Relax. Take some deep breaths. Feel how lucky you are to be here and have the chance to experience this right now. Realize that no matter what happens, for better or for worse, you are the only thing that will be with you from beginning to end on this journey. Everything else will be taken from you at some point. Your breath is all you’ve really got. Enjoy it. Embrace it. Cherish it. And as you exhale, open your eyes and look in the mirror, and notice that everything you will ever need is already yours.
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