The topic of self-esteem is extremely vital to our lives.
How we feel about ourselves dictates how we live… It influences our speech, the way we dress, and the activities we partake in. For a long time, I struggled with low self-esteem, because of some of the experiences that I encountered growing up.
As a child, I grew up in California with a mother who was a drug addict. Her addiction caused her to behave in ways that she wouldn’t normally act. While under the influence or if having withdrawals, she would take it on me. I was verbally, emotionally, and physically abused. I remember being called names such as stupid, dumb, and retarded. As a child, you are supposed to look up to your parents for love and support. You go to them in the time of fear.
But unfortunately, I feared my mother. Although my mom treated me this way, I still respect and love her. I have come to realize that she did not know how to love herself so she could not love me the way she wanted to.
As a result of this constant name calling, I began to believe that I was all of those things. I did poorly in school and any extra-curricular activities because I did not think I was good enough to achieve anything. I also did some things that I now regret such as: hanging out with the wrong people and dating the wrong guys.
Honestly, self-esteem is something that I still struggle with from time to time, but since I have had a better relationship with God I am becoming more of a conqueror. I know that God has a plan for my life and I say now that I have godly confidence. It doesn’t matter how things look in the natural because spiritually I know that I am precious to God.
I am so important that He wakes me up every day.
I am unique, because He has given me the gift of dance and uses me to minister to others. I believe that self-doubt is just something I had to go through so that I can know what it feels like and I so that I will be able to encourage others.
Daily, I strive to be a Proverbs 31 woman. She is described as a woman in the Bible who is the ideal wife, mother, friend, and everything good. She is equipped with everything she needs, because of her works for the Lord and is able to utilize all of her gifts to help others.
If you struggle with self-esteem the best way to get through it is to spend time with God. That is only way that you will find out who you are and begin to accept and love that person.
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