I got an email from a reader who wrote in with a question I’ve heard many times in different ways. Here’s how Andrew, this reader in particular, phrased it:
“I just graduated from college, but still feel entirely lost on what I want to do and where I want to be. I’m only 21 and graduated high school and college a year early, but I just feel like I’m pushing my life along without learning what I want and enjoying the process of it all.
I’ve had my highs and lows throughout these years, and I’m starting to get nervous that I’m going to slip low again because I don’t know how to find what I truly want. I’m done with college, but feel more lost than when I started. I’ve been taking the steps to try to find my true passion, but I just get frustrated when I feel like I’m not getting any closer.
Do you have any advice? I know you hear this all the time, but I’m not afraid of hard work, I’m just struggling to find out what to pour my motivation and drive into.”
I’m no expert on life—your answers to his questions are just as valid as mine—but here’s what I said:
I don’t think most of us know our true passion or purpose right away. It tends to emerge as we embark on different paths.
It’s good that you’re feeling a bit frustrated—it shows that you understand the importance of the search. But I think the best thing you can do is be open and explore different paths. The truest one tends to appear as you go along, not before you start.
At least that’s how it was for me. From a young age I felt exactly what you describe: the idea that I was just pushing my life along with no north star.
Since I wasn’t sure what to do or where to turn, I just began to pursue challenges and “zones of learning” in whatever I was interested in. I learned to play a lot of different musical instruments. I learned about entrepreneurship, or at least how to make enough of a living that I didn’t have to work for someone else…
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