Losing teaches us more than winning ever will. But to the most competitive people on the planet, there can be literally no difference between second and last place. To the die-hards, everything is a competition, regardless if anyone else knows it.
We all love to win, but as humans we have a high aversion to losing something – even more so than we do to making a gain of a similar amount.
Why We Hate To Lose
Professor Kanheman, a renowned professor at Princeton University who won the Nobel Memorial Prize for Economics, explains the theory that shows we tend to look at things from ‘gains and losses’. We have a loss aversion and the ratio up to 3:1. This means we value not losing up to three times higher than actually winning.
“I hate to lose” – Michael Phelps
As humans, we are irrational by nature. Many will feel more impacted by loss than by potential victory. Losing is similar facing rejection and ultimately the fear of failure.
In business (and life), no one likes to be told no — especially me — but no is one of the most important words an entrepreneur can hear (and say). If you’re not getting told no enough times a day, you’re probably not pushing hard enough. This doesn’t make losing any easier to deal with.
“I think most over achievers are driven, not so much by the pursuit of success, but by the fear of failure.” – Larry Ellison
When striving to make a big personal change, it’s easier to start if you have some sort of “push” motivator such as an aversion to losing. As you get further along your journey and start improving then you can start to make out a goal that pulls you toward it – in this case, a love of winning.
Why We Love To Win
High performing individuals, organizations and teams expect to win and do so frequently. There is a certain thrill of victory that’s hard to explain. For elite athletes, one reason they compete is because they want to be GREAT. They want to win and inspire.
“You always want to win. That is why you play tennis, because you love the sport and try to be the best you can at it.” – Roger Federer
It’s something they’ve worked and dreamed about for years, maybe even decades. Olympic athletes are working to achieve something ONE time that will give them memories and rewards for a lifetime.
Oftentimes overcoming adversity births the relentless pursuit of winning. This journey from the ashes is a great motivator and can make the feelings of winning that much more memorable.
“There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time.” – Malcolm X
We all want to win, but we also hate to lose. The extent to how much each of these motivate us is what makes us all unique.
You Will Win (and Lose) in Life
In life, there are winners and losers. This is reality and regardless of the culture of trying to make everyone feel like they are a winner, it just isn’t so! Hating to lose is just as important as wanting to win. Losing hurts and pushes us to want to win.
We must embrace losing to get stronger, better, and wiser for the next challenge we face. If you can isolate this concept of hating to lose and loving to win in your genetic makeup, you will find much more success in motivating yourself and others.
What is your primary motivation: Do you hate to lose more than you love to win?
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