We have all experienced the thing known as a ‘disappointment.’
Whether it is letting someone down or ruminating over your own faults, life tends to present us with moments of unintentional disappointment. It’s true; your best just wasn’t enough. British Author Eliza Tabor once said, “Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.”
Every day there are commitments we strive to fulfill, and sometimes, a “must do” or “need to do” gets cut short of the attention it needs, which can cause the expectant party to be disappointed in your performance. As bad as it seems to disappoint someone else, what’s worse is the feeling of disappointing yourself. Regardless of the circumstances or the outcome, it is important to maintain a level head so that both parties can move past the mistake.
Any disappointment has potential for reversal. The trick is knowing what to do. Here are some quick tips from the public relations world to turn a disappointing situation into a powerful learning tool.
1. Be Aware.
Being able to admit that that you have disappointed someone says that you are taking responsibility for the situation. Be willing to face the consequences instead of laying the blame on someone else.
2. Don’t Respond Defensively.
In the public relations world, you work off of the assumption that the client is always right when beginning to address a concern or complaint. Graciously address the disappointed party in a way that makes them feel valued. An example would be: “I understand you have been disappointed with _________. As a valued client (boss, friend, family member, etc) I would like to help resolve your concerns today and come to a resolution that appeals to both parties.” This mode of speaking tempers a hot situation and carves a pathway to calm conversation for a real solution to make both parties happy.
3. Investigate.
Asking sincere questions about the needs of the other party in the situation opens doors to a direct and genuine conversation about what aspects of the experience could have been avoided before the event happened. This is the time to address the commitment level, the workload, time priorities, and needs of both parties going forward.
4. Present Solutions.
Coming to the conversation with positive ideas on how to fix the situation will assure the distressed party that you are serious about correcting the disappointment and are willing to work with them on gaining back their trust. This can happen as a progressive component to the conversation, or before the conversation happens, if you know in advance that you have not met an expectation.
5. Be willing to listen.
When working on solutions in any situation, realize that it’s a two-way conversation and both parties must listen to the other. Listening can often times give perspective to the situation and help to determine if there is a solution.
Disappointments are simply part of life. But we never have to let them break us. (Photo courtesy of CC0)
6. Take Action.
Once both parties have come to an agreement, internalize the conversation and work to earn the trust of the party, client, boss, family member or friend, through your ongoing actions. Actions speak louder than words in any situation and with the right attitude of self-improvement, you might find you have improved your timing, your organization and your ability to problem solve.
7. Say Thank You.
Always thank the other party for trusting you enough to bring the situation to your attention and assure them that you are learning as much as they are for future positive change.
And finally, remember positive changes, both personally and professionally, can come from any negative experience depending on how you choose to handle it. Disappointment is not an easy problem to tackle but the more you work on it, the better you become.
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