*disclaimer** these are just my thoughts and shouldn’t be applied to all women just because ONE woman said it.
I don’t mind a “hi beautiful” most moments. I don’t mind saying “thank you” or offering a smile. I don’t mind “have a blessed day.” I will respond or wave and keep it pushing.
What I do mind is aggression, boundary stepping, and forcefulness.
What’s the difference? How about openness? If you say “hey beautiful” and I stop and smile and engage, then perhaps that is an invitation for continued conversation, after all, my smile and moment of pause would imply that right? But when you start screaming at me “you ain’t gon stop, b••••?” Or “oh you ain’t gonna say it back?” Or “f••• you” or creepily follow behind me, what part of you has led you to believe that I was the least bit open to this interaction?
Nothing. What has led your ceaseless pursuit of my response is ego, drive, and entitlement. Dear Mister, you are not entitled to my smile, my attention, my voice, or my body.
You know who is entitled to those things and when they should/how they should be used? Me. I decide when I want to engage and disengage. I decide when I want to smile and not smile. I decide when I want to keep walking or stop. Not you. And once that decision is made, as a human I ask you to RESPECT IT. Do you know why I’m not smiling back? Maybe I’m rushing to work and I’m late. Maybe it’s that time of the month and I’m in pain. Maybe I was just fired. Maybe I am exhausted and I’m yearning for my bed. Maybe I’m just not interested! Whatever the reason, I have the right to my no, and you are not entitled to my yes.
So the question, how would I like men to assert their masculinity? Fine, say “hey beautiful” say “have a blessed day” say “you look nice today,” fine, but a real man to me, knows how to gauge openness versus discomfort and won’t force their agenda on me.
A real man to me knows when he is welcomed, and loves himself ENOUGH to walk away from places where he isn’t. Divine masculinity to me is strong, without being forceful, vocal without being hateful, and loving without ownership. Divine masculine to me is respecting as well as protecting the divinity of a woman and the beauty of her choice – whether it’s a yes or a no.
That’s what appeals to me. Your screams, will never get my attention. But your heart and respect will.
This post was originially posted on KeyairaKelly.com.
Need A Massage? Learn How To Give One To Yourself And Your Loved Ones
Receiving a massage, whether it’s given by someone else or self-administered, can help loosen your muscles and establish a better connection not only with your body but also with the people you love.
