1. Speak Less, Listen More

“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.” -Ernest Hemingway

Most people prefer the sound of their own voice than someone else’s.

It’s hard to humble yourself and let others teach you things. It’s hard to walk around with a strong belief that other people know more than you, and it’s wise to listen to them.

But the greatest leaders of the world have been listening to and watching others their whole lives. They understand they know very little; they understand they can learn if they just speak less and listen.

It’s true, most people never truly listen. Countless people still feel stuck, bored, and aimless because they don’t know how to move forward.

Instead, choose to be someone who speaks less than others, and listens more than others. There’s so much you can learn if you just stop talking and pay attention.

2. Don’t Give Unsolicited Advice

In The Three Musketeers, the lead Musketeer Athos rarely gave advice to anyone. “Athos liked every one to exercise his own free-will. He never gave his advice before it was demanded and even then it must be demanded twice.”

This was a man who acutely understood why people sought out answers. “People, in general,” said Athos, “only ask advice not to follow it; or if they do follow it, it is for the sake of having someone to blame for having given it.”

Everyone wants to be (or at least seen as) a respected authority, as someone with answers; they want people to think they’re respectable, wise, and full of knowledge. They want everyone to come to them for advice.

But most people aren’t fit to give anyone advice. How many people do you have in your life that you absolutely trust to give you good advice?

Probably not many. Perhaps none at all.

It’s hard to become someone people come to for advice.

But the sure way to become a laughingstock people don’t trust is to give out unsolicited advice whenever you can. People hate that, and they’ll begin to see you as an annoying know-it-all almost immediately.

Don’t give out unsolicited advice.

3. Act Rightly Even While No One’s Watching

The say if you want to see the measure of a man, watch how he behaves when no one’s looking.

How do you treat people when no one’s looking?

What do you do when you know no one’s watching?

It’s easy to behave and act rightly when everyone’s watching you. Peer pressure is a powerful motivator, even to do the right things.

But it’s far harder to act rightly when no one’s looking and the temptation to act selfishly is stronger than ever.

But every area of your life affects every other area. If you’re secretly selfish, fearful, and immature in one area of your life, it will bleed into every other area over time.

I remember when I was working as a telemarketer, I had to make about 300 calls a day to angry people and try and sell them stuff. It was awful, and people were fired every month for not hitting quotas.

But I found a loophole; I could dial numbers I knew wouldn’t pick up (they were out-of-commission numbers, they’d never picked up in months, whatever), and pad my call numbers so it looked like I was making calls. “It’s not my fault I’m not making sales, no one’s even picking up!” I’d tell my boss.

But this shirking of responsibility began affecting other areas of my life, too. When I got home to work on my side-projects, I was unmotivated and lazy. I’d been practicing being lazy all day, and it’s extremely difficult to “turn on a switch” and be motivated after that.

Act rightly even if no one’s watching.

4. Try New Things You’ve Never Done Before

My wife has a friend who describes her husband’s appetite as that of a second grader — he only likes fast food and pizza, and he refuses to even try new dishes.

You can’t help but think how silly, even pathetic that is. There’s so much food in the world, and you insist on only trying 0.00001% of what life has to offer?

How empty and boring is that?

It’s scary to have an open mind. I grew up in a pretty conservative family, and I adopted those values without really thinking because, hey, it’s what my family believed.

But my wife grew up in a pretty liberal home, and I began to see things in a whole different light. It was scary to consider new ideas. Frankly, part of me felt I was “losing” by considering other options and admitting my beliefs might be wrong.

But I feel so much more enlightened and open-minded now. Looking back, I realized I only ever consumed content by other straight white dudes like me. It’s been so refreshing to consume content by people of different genders, races, sexual orientations, and lifestyles as me. I’ve learned more in the pat few years than the previous decade combined.

It’s easy to be close-minded and lock out new foods, books, and ideas from your comfortable little corner of the world.

Try new things. People will respect you more, not less.

5. Give Your Money Away.

“Giving money is the secret to most wealthy families.” -Robert Kiyosaki

Look — the world is full of takers. Everyone wants something for nothing. If you’re selfish, you’re not special; you’re among the heavy majority.

The rare individual who is actually generous with their time, money, and resources is often the one who gets ahead: they get the job, the contract, the client, the goodwill of their fellow men and women. Because generosity is rare, and people always recognize a generous person.

Generosity has an effect on your soul, an effect that can’t be produced any other way. When you give, you open your mind and heart to the needs of others. You become more attuned with what people need, and build empathy for them. Your mind rolls with this, and subconsciously begins working on more solutions for them. You will develop a “texture,” traits of a generous person.

And everyone likes a generous person.

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