Whether you are a doctor, lawyer, scientist, famous actress, member of the royal family or mother to children in your own family, all women will leave a legacy, and it is up to each one of us to decide what it is.
That is the message I sought to impart this month when I gave the commencement address to graduating seniors at Immaculate Heart High School, a Catholic college prep school for young women in Los Angeles.
Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, Tyra Banks and Mary Tyler Moore are among the most famous graduates of this school. Many other alumnae have gone on to search for cures for cancer, solve infrastructure problems in cities, advise Fortune 500 companies on financial issues, rock their babies at night and wipe away the tears of their three-year-olds when they skin their knees. Each job is no more important than the last.
What I believe is important for young women to understand is this: No matter what path you choose and where your journey takes you — you should be the boss of your own life.
The way has been paved for today’s female graduates to have every opportunity imaginable. The progress women have made — just between the time I graduated high school and had children — is staggering. I watched us earn the rights to apply for a credit card without a male co-signer (1974), sit on jury pools (1975), work while pregnant (1978) and be admitted to the Virginia Military Institute and the Citadel (1996).
But from my 60 years experience being a woman and 35 years being a career woman, I can also tell you it’s not always easy being a woman. We still only earn 80 cents on average, for every dollar a man makes. Harassment in the workplace is so common it has sparked the widespread #MeToo movement. Women hold only 107 of the 535 seats in the U.S. Congress and our country hasn’t yet elected a female president.
Young women entering the workforce today will likely find they work harder to be accepted than their male colleagues. They will probably come to every meeting a little more prepared than their male counterparts and can expect to juggle more than their typical male colleague.
But young women also need to know this: You will have the opportunity to have a more beautiful, rich and well-rounded life than I can begin to explain because being a woman today rocks.
You can fly to the moon and be a mom at the same time. You can be a banker on Wall Street and breastfeed in the break room. You can spearhead a disaster relief effort, run for elected office and code, code, code. So much is available to you — you just need to believe in yourself enough to go for it.
And this is the part of the conversation I want to make sure we are having with young women today. Because sometimes our biggest problem isn’t the roadblocks the world throws up for us — it’s the voice in our own head that is holding us back.
So if you need a template to approach life, I suggest the following:
Be bold.
Be confident.
Take risks.
Don’t ever put up with mansplaining.
And live in gratitude.
This last item is so very important. We spend so much time forcing our graduates to focus on the future. We ask them — what are you doing next, where are you headed and what do you want to be? When we do this, we can’t help but invite comparison. And comparing yourself to others is not only a waste of time; as author Rachel Hollis says, it is the death of all joy.
The true key to success — in work and in life — is in recognizing the importance of who and where we are today and what we have in this moment. If you can focus on being a better person today than you were yesterday, you will succeed no matter where life’s up and downs take you. What gets you through your successes and your challenges is believing in yourself and recognizing your blessings, every single day.
So whether you are full of hope and optimism, scared out of your mind, positive of where your path is taking you or unsure of your next step, know that you can always center yourself with a simple thank you for what you have in this moment. If you decide to live in gratitude for what you have today, for what you were today and for who you were today — then you will live a very happy and purposeful life.
Women, be whoever you want to be. But be the boss — in the workplace and in your own lives. And be kind to yourselves and each other.
This life is only as good as your mindset and you and you alone are completely in charge of that.
This article was originally published on Glassdoor. It is reprinted with permission and in partnership with Glassdor.
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