Fear is a learned emotion that I’m sure we all can admit to struggling with at some point in our lives.
We fear abandonment, love, heights, deep water, death, disease and the list goes on. But does hiding from your fears make you feel better?
For the past few months, I have had vivid and intense dreams of deep water. Some dreams, I fall into the water and others just being close to the water makes me panic. I fear deep water because I am afraid to drown. However, if I learn how to swim, then I wouldn’t have to worry about the possibility of drowning.
My fear was sparked by a childhood experience when I nearly drowned in 6 feet of pool water. As an adult, I still do not walk near the deep end of the pool because I am afraid of falling in unexpectedly. The odd thing is, I love looking out into the distance of large bodies of water. I am fascinated when looking out and seeing where the sky meets the water representing the idea of endless opportunities of discovery.
I had an unexplainable fear of heights that caused me to not ride roller coasters and to close my eyes when riding (not driving) over high bridges. In June 2011, I took a trip to Cedar Point with a few friends and was determined to ride several of the roller coasters I had been afraid to ride when I had previously gone to the park.
I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders as I conquered each ride with no fear. Each ride was approximately two minutes long and I thought to myself, “Come on Jen, it’s only two minutes of your life. It can’t be that bad.” As we left the park, I felt fulfilled. I can’t believe I was afraid of adventure and an adrenaline rush. There was really nothing to be afraid of. The suspense of not knowing how quick the drop will come or when we will be jerked by a sharp turn makes it all worth it.
Why let fear ruin a moment or waste your time?
It’s not worth it. Years ago, I could have been having a blast with my friends at the amusement park but instead I wasted time being afraid.
Another encounter that I had with heights was in October 2011 when I jumped out of a plane. Yes, I went skydiving. A friend invited me for her birthday. I don’t think I thought it through before I had agreed. So when we arrived at the site, I didn’t really know how to feel. I wasn’t afraid, but I wasn’t exactly excited either. A prior conversation with a loved one had my mind distracted and I wasn’t really focused on what was coming next.
As I put the jumpsuit on, I was still in numb state of mind. The real test came as we boarded the little plane with not much material between the outside air and me. It was cold and loud as the plane took off. Takeoff is the worst for me. Even on commercial planes, I struggle with takeoff. The fear set in as we flew for 20 minutes before reaching the altitude to jump. At nearly 14,000 feet, my heart began to beat through the jumpsuit. I couldn’t believe what I was doing or why! I panicked because I wasted time thinking about a conversation instead of being in the moment and now I was stuck with no choice but to jump!
As I jumped, it was the most beautiful sight of the Earth I have ever experienced. It was pure serenity to be in the air floating. Well, falling very fast. Once I landed, I wanted to go back up and do it over. I had an overwhelming feeling of love for the Earth and my adrenaline was pumped for two weeks. There was nothing that I feared and even if I thought I was afraid of something, I reminded myself, “Hey Jen. Guess what? You jumped out of a plane at 14,000 feet. Fear is not welcomed in this mind.”
I was motivated to conquer any and everything that came my way. I wanted to enjoy life more and spend more time happy than idle. It was then I realized how to take control of my life and make it meaningful.
I wasn’t afraid of much until these “water dreams” began to appear all too real. After waking up afraid and sweating, I thought of the solution: just learn how to swim. I asked a friend to teach me and now I will be on a journey to conquer the waters. After all, swimming is a means of survival.
People fear the unknown without realizing the unknown has a 50/50 chance of being harmless. We cannot be afraid of things we have yet to encounter. If what we fear is caused by a specific encounter, then we must face the reason behind it. Once you deal with the reasons behind any emotion, you can then be set free and less stressed.
Overcoming a fear gives you the comfort of accomplishment. It gives you power within yourself to know you can conquer what scares you. Soon, I will be diving happily in the deep end.
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