When someone is dealing with depression, it may not seem like they are. Their symptoms may seem “invisible.” And that’s the truth for all of us whenever we feel depressed. It reminds me of when it’s raining and sunny at the same time.
This may sound a bit crazy, but the phrase, “the devil is beating his wife,” was frequently said by my grandmother during my childhood. It was in reference to the phenomenon of the sun shining, while it was raining.
Weird. I know, trust me.
My grandmother grew up in the South and brought many of the sayings with her to Detroit. I rarely use those phrases in public or aloud even though I still remember them. Recently, I have come to understand that phrase in a different way, particularly during my journey in purchasing life insurance.
Although I don’t have any kids, I feel as if it would be a good move for me to make. In the event of my untimely death, my family can take care of anything that might be left lingering. It also will give me something to borrow against if there is a major catastrophe.
Like any major decision, I have been shopping around and speaking to different agents. I was very bothered by a comment one made while going through preliminary options. Since I suffer from depression but no longer receive therapy or take medication, I asked the agent if depression was one of the things that could raise the premium or make me uninsurable.
As we talked, he informed me that I could get insurance. He told me to make sure that I took care of that and got more therapy, if needed. A few minutes later he stated, “It doesn’t sound like you’re depressed.” I finished up the conversation but was immediately annoyed. At the time, I was going through a dark period.
It was only God’s grace that allowed for me to get out of bed that morning. I did sound a bit more cheerful during the conversation but it was the end of my workday and I had a rather enjoyable conversation with a co-worker. In my world, the sun was shining but it was raining at the same time. It may have been hidden or not noticeable, but it was raining for me.
Mental health is something that is invisible.
You can’t look at somebody and tell that they are mentally healthy or ill. Just because the sun is shining at one moment doesn’t mean it isn’t still raining. If I am having a better moment or day that doesn’t mean that I’ve been “cured” or “fixed.” And I’m not broken or ill, just different… trying to overcome this thing called, depression.
If you are dealing with depression, I urge you to remember that the sun can shine, even while it’s raining. And if you know someone who is depressed or that you suspect is depressed, I urge you to comfort them. Just because they seem happy doesn’t mean that they are. Help them to bask in the sunshine, even if they are still feeling the rain. Allow yourself to help them hold an umbrella to keep them dry -in whatever way they will let you- even if the sun is shining.
The fact is, I suffer from depression. The fact is, I don’t always “seem” depressed, just like many people in the world. But sometimes, I am. Many people are. And the fact is, I know I can overcome it. We can overcome it. One day, the sun can shine without the rain.
[Current Song: The Rain by Will Smith featuring Jill Scott]
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