Why do we often lose sight of the beauty found within our lives?
It’s like we become so numb to our surroundings that we become blind when it comes to seeing the light that we exude every day that we are alive. We become attracted to the dark side and all the negativity in this world begins to pull us in. Our minds become littered with our dreams; they become broken and tattered. The pain, the guilt and the feeling of being let down return to our heads.
No matter where we go or what we do, they always seem to come back. They keep on getting louder, it is as if we can’t even hear our own voices anymore. Where is that glowing light that will guide us to the right path? I often wonder if there is even a light. It is our job to find this light, no one else’s. But, I know for me, it is definitely going to be a long to journey to that place of ease that may come from within. However, I am persistent in believing that my recovering from an eating disorder is possible. In fact, anything is possible.Sometimes I think that we just might feel that for every good thing that happens to us, the bad one finds its way to jump right in. But, maybe it’s just be an illusion in our puzzled heads.
I mean what is right, and what is wrong? We seem to have come to the point in which we almost have forgotten which one is which. I have to think and remember that there must be dawn before sunrise, there must be pain before we heal. Why must we have to hit that rock bottom to realize that we must make a change?
This rock bottom place that we sometimes encounter could be what brings happiness into our lives. It was not until I acknowledged the fact that my life was being wasted away into what is known as anorexia and bulimia, that I knew my happiness was gone. At the young age of 14, I was put into a place most people don’t even come close to seeing. My life was torn apart, flipped around and injured. That sense of control that lurked around with my eating disorder was slowly, but drastically taken away from me.
My miseries became the reality, my smile and laughter became just a dream. It was as if all the happiness was just drained from me, I thought I was never going to be able to get it back. I forgot what it felt like to smile, I forgot that it truly means to enjoy this one life that we are blessed with. I did things I would never in a million years consider doing. “Why me?” I wondered. Why did my soul change? How was I transformed into the person that I now fear? The endless questions came with no possible answers.
I tried and tried for days to recover my happiness and to get my life back. I did not just want to re- live the past that I used to desire, but I was searching for a better future. I have been on the path to happiness since I became diagnosed with an eating disorder. I have fought with my own thoughts, my own brain, but I am going to live happily one day. Just know that this road may be bumpy, shaky, and crazy at times, but it will get you where you truly want to be.
We all question what this so-called ‘happiness’ may be… what it will bring into our lives. All I can say is that happiness will make everything better. Happiness is the key we have long craved for, that key to a better life. Happiness brings joy, it puts a smile on all of our faces. Even when the world is dark, there will always be the little bit of light in our hearts. This light is the happiness that we were born with, the happiness that will never die out. So, if happiness is such a big part in our lives, how and where can we find it? We often wear blindfolds when it comes to dealing with day-to-day life. But we must take away the blindfolds, and rid ourselves of them.
We must separate ourselves from our yesterdays, our pasts and our painful feelings.
Suffering and pain are two completely different scenes. Pain is a simple, but hurtful, physical or mental emotion that passes after an amount of time. On the other hand, we have suffering. It is like the fearful step that comes after the pain. It may take hours, days, weeks, months, years or even a lifetime to recover from suffering. But, we must remember that life will only treat us by the way that we dream of it.
We should take small steps to become a more optimistic person. We should also start focusing on the present moment and live for that moment. And most importantly, we must focus on the beauty that is around us. That small, but daily, action that may bring a smile to your face. We have one life that we are living. Be grateful and express your appreciation towards it. Our lives and the state of mind that we have in this moment in time is the result of our thoughts.
Negative thoughts will close all the doors that were meant to be open for you. Fill up your life with positivity; nourish not only your body, but your thoughts, feelings and your spirit. Things around you will be changing on a day-to-day basis. And if you see something you don’t like, make a change.
But if you can’t change something, forget about it. Let it go! Be happy with who you are, be proud of the person that is living in this moment. Don’t be your own worst nightmare and your own worst critic. Worry about today and what is happening in this moment. Forget about what may be and what could be.
The key to life is learning to be kind to the most important person in the world.
This person is you.
Start by altering your attitude towards life and that is truly when you will be able to see how life will change for you. Focus on being a better individual. When you spend your time and energy on this, that craving to be better than someone else will disappear forever. We have to understand that happiness isn’t a state of being. It is a journey that will take us time to understand, but in the end of the road, it will truly be worth it. “Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions” -Dalai Lama.
I really do hope and dream for the day that our humanity is able to seek and embark themselves on the path of happiness. It is all that we could do to get ourselves up from even the worst situations. Life is meant to be hard for one simple reason. It is made this way to make us stronger, to make us fight even in our darkest times.
Happiness will result in you being able to pursue a goal persistently, no matter how hard you get knocked down, you will get up and keep on fighting. You will fight whatever may be killing you on the inside and bravely saying “no” to any open paths to the dark side. From my life, all I can say is that I am glad that I am to able to finally witness the wonders that are created from the force of happiness. Happiness has been able to slowly, but firmly kill my eating disorder. It has had the power to let me laugh and smile again, to be able to enjoy both life and food like I once did. For sure this road has been a roller coaster ride, but I truly have enjoyed both the ups and downs.
This road took me some time, but now, in the close end, I am able to finally see the spark of light that comes with every breath that I take.
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