In the West, so much of what we culturally encourage is forceful. Power and strength are equated with quantity and force. 

I’ve been steeped in Western yoga culture for ten years now, and have done over one thousand classes in at least a dozen countries. The ‘no pain, no gain’ mantra has dominated my experience of yoga, with the emphasis often on challenging ourselves, and our bodies, to reach new heights. If it doesn’t feel challenging, then there must not be any benefit, has been my conditioning.

At my recent Ayurvedic retreat in India, I appreciated how simple and gentle the yoga practice was. Designed to support the Ayurvedic treatments, the yoga practice was the supporting actor, not the main actor. Despite this, the effect of the yoga practice was powerful. The before and after change I feel from simple guided exercises was dramatic. A reminder of the power of subtle changes. 

Learning to practice yoga in such a peaceful, gentle, restorative, and calm manner, while feeling strong, powerful, flexible and able in my body, opened my eyes to why these practices have stood the test of time over thousands of years.

While I’m truly inspired by yoga philosophy, and the depth of knowledge it has to offer beyond the physical practice, my reflection here is focused on the physical practice of yoga.

Yoga is accessible to everyone. It is not about being flexible in the body; rather about being flexible in the mind. 

Yoga is not a performative, competitive sport, like it may seem if one looks at Instagram, or yoga studios in New York or Los Angeles. In these places, everyday activities like getting dressed in the morning, making breakfast, making it to the office, are also seen as performative and competitive sports.

I remember bumping into one of my yoga teachers in New York City on the street many years ago and asking him why I hadn’t seen him teach lately. “I stopped teaching” was his response. I was shocked. 

He went on to explain to me that he realized that yoga is such a personalized practice that it did not make sense to him anymore to teach or learn it in a group setting. Everyone’s body is different and needs something different each day.

Yoga is a personalized practice, meant to serve the body. Not the other way around. 

I used to try to get my body to do whatever the instructor asked me to do, or more honestly, what the person on the mat next to mine was able to do. Over the years, as I have felt more connected to my body, and willing to listen to it, versus trying to direct and control it, my yoga practice has evolved to give my body the poses it is asking for.

If my shoulders are tight, I’ll do shoulder stretches. If my neck is sore on one side, I’ll hold a pose for an extended amount of time just on that side. If my legs are stiff, I’ll do some lunges. If my lower back is feeling sensitive, I’ll do abdominal exercises. 

The word yoga translates to union. My experience of yoga is that it can be used to help connect me with my own body, in a way that my body needs.

Otherwise being able to do complex, and sometimes dangerous Instagram-worthy yoga poses, and compete with the other students in class, is really about serving my ego. It doesn’t make my body feel good, it actually makes my body feel scared. It does make my mind feel good though. Yoga poses are for the body, not for the mind.

And that is how I learned to yoga.