Happiness is a personal choice and something we all strive for. Research shows that much of our happiness is linked to the small choices we make every day. Now, you may ask, “What about the choices that are linked to unhappiness?” Yes, that’s something important to address and to be concerned about–not to dwell on.
It’s important to recognize the unfavorable behaviors in us to start being happy. If left “unchecked,” these unfavorable behaviors can eventually turn our lives from better into bitter. Fortunately, it’s never too late to choose to let go of what doesn’t make us happy. We must remember that it’s the small choices that impact our happiness day after day.
It’s essential to be clear about what we believe in, what we value, and what we stand for to make good choices that lead us to live a happy life that aligns with who we are. While it’s a human need to please others, to be liked, to be recognized–and so on, being constantly dependent on these type of behaviors can make us more unhappy than happy.
Here is a guide to help us choose to let go of unfavorable behaviors to make room for favorable ones that create happiness:
1. Choose to let go of “The need to constantly please others.”
The saddest part of “needing to please others” is the never-ending sacrifices we’ll have to make that will never be enough to accomplish this unrealistic task. As a result, we’ll feel discouraged and resentful. We benefit from being kind to ourselves instead.
“In trying to please all, he had pleased none.” Aesop
2. Choose to let go of “The need to constantly to say yes.”
Saying “yes” to others tends to be easier than saying “no” even if it makes us feel uncomfortable. Be it out of obligation or out the fear of rejection, we often say “yes” in a robotic way. Instead, we need to first be honest and considerate with ourselves.
“The oldest, shortest words – ‘yes’ and ‘no’ – are those which require the most thought.” Pythagoras
3. Choose to let go of “The need to constantly get approval / validation.”
Basing our self-esteem on what others approve of us is like riding a rollercoaster of emotions. It’s a hard job to depend on others for approval so we can feel better about ourselves. We benefit from knowing that we are competent enough to move forward.
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” Mark Twain
4. Choose to let go of “The need to constantly be respected.”
Most people will respect us if we respect them, it’s all about applying the Golden Rule. However, it is impossible to have everyone’s respect; even if we try, we’ll be unsuccessful. Instead, we need to first respect ourselves and have a good attitude.
“Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.” Laurence Sterne
5. Choose to let go of “The need to constantly be liked.”
We weren’t born to be liked by everyone, nor were we born to like everyone, that’s a universal truth. We will be immensely unhappy if we live in a state of “needing others to like us.” We benefit from being true to ourselves and genuinely liking ourselves instead.
“If you just set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing.” Margaret Thatcher
6. Choose to let go of “The need to be constantly be accepted.”
Our progress and success in life are interrupted when we seek the acceptance of others. Our world won’t fall apart if we aren’t accepted by everyone, it’s okay if we’re not. Instead, we need to first be ourselves and compassionately accept ourselves.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
7. Choose to let go of “The need to constantly be recognized.”
In striving to get recognition, we lose valuable time and also deplete our energy to move forward. Our life isn’t based on the amount of recognition we get for our contributions and accomplishments. We benefit from reflecting about our advancement in life instead.
“Don’t worry when you are not recognized, but strive to be worthy of recognition.” Abraham Lincoln
8. Choose to let go of “The need to constantly worry about what others think.”
Investing our time and energy worrying about the opinions others have about us can be debilitating and stressful. What others think or say about us is simply out of our control no matter what we do. Instead, we need to focus on what matters most to us.
“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” Eleanor Roosevelt
9. Choose to let go of “The need to constantly prove your worth.”
We may waste valuable time in the process of proving our worth to others who may not really care. People will acknowledge our worth if they choose to; it’s not by force, it’s by choice. We benefit from appreciating ourselves instead.
“If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you have already forgotten your value.” Unknown
10. Choose to let go of “The need constantly to fit in.”
As humans, we struggle with the unusual and the unknown so we’re naturally drawn to what’s familiar. We long to belong even it means acting differently by mirroring others’ behaviors. Instead, we need to embrace our differences and realize we’re unique.
“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” Dr. Seuss
Please join the conversation by sharing your thoughts about the ten choices listed above, Which one speaks the most to you? Thank You! @IvetteKCM
See more of Ivette Caballero’s articles, here.
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